Hallie (6) and I were all snuggled up on the couch last week watching American Idol. In walks this teenage girl to audition who has this great story about being best friends and doing everything with her mom. Hallie looks up at me and says, "When I'm a teenager, we are going to be best friends."
BE. STILL. MY. HEART.
Shut up brain. I know. I know I can't be BFFs with my daughter when she's a teenager. THEY said so.
But it got me thinking about how I love that she wants to BE friends with me and be LIKE me. I am her role model!
It is important, as parents, to be our kids' role models from the first moment they look up at you. To live your life by example and be the kind of person they should want to be exactly like when they grow up. *shifts halo*
[sidenote: I am a crappy driving role model and this was proven when my 15 year old honked at someone and said "MOVE!" ... uhhhhh .... but at least he didn't say "asshole" at the end???]
As much as we want to be our kids' role models - and probably are and forever will be! - it is important to know that somewhere in the twilight zone years (13-18 .... or so I hear) they will probably find another role model to emulate and want to be like when they grow up. Why? Because a teenager thinks you are stupid and that you don't know anything. This doesn't mean you aren't still subconsciously (or consciously!) the person they most want to be like, but the outside influences will start to take over their little pea brains. #raisingteenagersisfun #sofun
This is why I am so involved in social media - and why I stalk the crap out of my kids. Heck, my Twitter header says, "Just here to stalk my kid. And yours." Social media (as much as you "don't have time for it") will tell you who your kids are and who they are trying to be like. It tells a great and awesome story! Who is your child's role model for real? Check their Twitter likes, retweets and posts.
So you start digging. By digging I don't mean 3 hours later you are on some kid's Twitter from 3 schools away and it takes you another 45 minutes to find your way back ... and along the way you accidentally follow like 50 kids who are all like "ewww gross why is your mom following me" and then you are forced to ask your kid 20 questions about why so and so is sad and who started the Twitter fight about cheerleading not being a sport or oh boy that kid uses really bad language obviously his parents don't monitor his Twitter. I digress. So you look.... who are your kids following and interacting with on Twitter and Instagram? More importantly - how does this relate to who you see them becoming in real life? What is their screen saver, who/what are the posters in their room, what is their choice in clothing and hair, and words they choose to speak? Do they tell you what they want to be when they grow up? You can find it. This is all so evident by looking at who their role models are, and if they won't talk to you because they are shitty teenagers, just look and observe. You will see.
I want to tell you how lucky I feel that Casey (15) has chosen a role model I adore. When Casey was little, HB sucked him into the world of endurance sportscar racing [note: I really don't know if this is what it is called, but it's the kind of thing where they race for a really long time and switch out drivers... think relay race. I also have no freaking idea how someone wins this race since they all finish at the same time. But Casey gets it so ....] because his company sponsored a Corvette race car. Casey decided early on that he wanted to be a professional race car driver (like when he was 4) even though I had seriously planned on him being a professional golfer... helllloooooo ..... nice and safe.
Through Corvette Racing, Casey started following this driver named Jordan Taylor. Jordan was probably only about 21 at the time. But Casey really liked this kid, and because Casey liked him and was following him, I had to as well. It's my job! Over the last few years, Casey has formed this friendship with Jordan and has aspired to be just like him. (And that is fine with me because Jordan is very funny and, more importantly, very kind and generous.) I watched Casey transform his bedroom into a world of racing. I found Casey starting to carry himself the way a professional would - going so far as to make a Linked In account and connect with professionals in all aspects of racing. Six hundred Linked In connections. SIX HUNDRED of them, people! I saw him getting encouraged by Jordan (and other racers) and believing his dream could come true. Casey knows what steps to take to follow his dreams because they are teaching him and telling him he can do it. This role model was ok! [sidenote: Jordan grew out a (albeit awesome) mullet and cut it off for charity. I did put my foot down on Casey growing out a mullet. I do have limits, friends.] This past weekend Casey got to race (karts) with Jordan and his brother Ricky - and a few other guys I didn't know - at a 24 hour endurance kart race in Florida. Jordan and Ricky encouraged Casey and taught him so much, and because they are awesome people who build a kid UP, they let him finish the race for their team. I honestly don't think that Jordan and Ricky realize how much of a difference something as simple as that makes. They're really just still kids, too ... they were just raised right - you can tell.
Jordan has encouraged my child to follow his dreams in ways that his dad and I cannot. If you ask Casey who his role model is, he will say it's his Dad. But a close second is Jordan Taylor.
It's funny in this world of social media how easy it is for your kids to find and communicate with their role models. So just watch. Be aware. Follow them. Steer gently in the right directions. Don't get so enamored in the fact that you are your child's role model to be blind to the fact there is probably a close second coming up behind you.
Who is YOUR child's role model ............... outside of you? That is the real question. And if your child is a teenager, I can help! Since I am such a good Twitter stalker, I can find out for you, if you want me to. But beware, I just might accidentally follow your kid in the process.
P.S. I went on Casey's Twitter and followed a bunch of golfers for him. You know. Just in case.
